The "Why"

Recently, a good friend asked if a former co-worker could visit and talk with me about my experiences. I had met this person years ago, but I had no idea how deeply interested they were in this realm. As we spoke, I discovered that their fascination wasn’t merely curiosity—it stemmed from their own lifelong experiences.

Their journey was different from mine, yet equally captivating, sometimes even magical. He shared that, as a child, he could stop time on his watch just by focusing on the hands. He described seeing figures that weren’t human but seemed to belong in a fairytale. The woods unsettled him, as he almost always encountered someone—or something—there. Naturally, as a child, this frightened him. Over time, he learned to channel his experiences into fiction and art, using them as a creative outlet for expression.

As we sat for hours at my dining table, exchanging our wild and wondrous stories, he asked a profound question: "Why do you feel so compelled to do this? What drives you?"

Let me start by saying, this is not a widely accepted field. While the vast majority of people I have encountered range from mildly skeptical but still curious to strongly invested in this field, there’s always an element of risk, an uncertainty about how people will react. Despite this, I feel an undeniable force pulling me forward. It’s like standing on an airport moving walkway that carries me toward something—I can’t step off, nor do I want to. Every day, my internal drive grows stronger, and I feel an overwhelming need to nurture the energy that radiates outward.

I seek knowledge wherever I can. I attend webinars, take online courses, join workshops, and participate in an advanced medium circle to refine my abilities. When I reflect on who I am now compared to who I was just months ago, I see constant evolution. I wish I had documented my emotional and intellectual journey daily—capturing every moment of growth, every fluctuation in connection, every instance of doubt and clarity.

While evolution is natural in life and growth is a good thing, I feel that this journey has reminded me of who I truly am—who I have always been. I am at home in my skin, confident in my path, even on days when the connection feels weaker or doubt creeps in. In those moments, I close my eyes and remember. I recall the times when loved ones have appeared just when someone needed them most. The names, the cherished objects, the feelings they bring. I sense their personalities—their quirks, their humor. And I witness how people react—the love, the joy, the peace and reassurance, the tears that come, not from sadness, but from an overwhelming sense of knowing they are still loved.

I am honored to be a part of that moment. To feel the bond between souls. To remind people that this isn’t the end—that we continue, that we remain, that our connection endures. At the end of the day, what we all want and need is to feel like someone cares about us. From a psychological point of view, it's well documented that children thrive in environments full of love. This same principle applies to adults. And so, when asked why I feel so driven to do this, the answer is simply—for love.